thoughts

God,

right now, i just need to give You my thoughts.

this road... i don't know where it leads, and i don't know if You're leading me down it. last night i thought You were, but now i'm doubting. if i do this, if i walk this path, it means i am giving up everything i want for myself, and possibly gaining whatever You want. how can i give up my strongest desires for a possibility?

what if i'm wrong? will You correct me? if i go this way, and it's not what You want, will you stop me? what if this is a misleading?

how do i know where Your'e going? i am searching for You right now, God, and i want to find you. You said that if i seek, i find. if i knock, the door opens. if i ask, You give it to me.

in Your name, i am asking this: guide me as i move forward. i am moving into a dark, dense fog, where only You can guide me. You guided your people in the form of a cloud, or a fire, or sometimes an audible voice. You talked to Samuel, and Moses, and Abraham, and Jacob, and Job, and many people in the New Testament (through Jesus). now we have Your Holy Spirit, and i need to recognize His voice if i am to follow it.

so now my prayer is that You would help me recognize Your voice, among the many other voices. i need to recognize Your voice. please grant me this request, so that i can glorify You. it's what my soul wants and needs, and it's what You want and need.

if nothing else, God- if you strike me deaf- at least don't strike me blind. let me see You so that i can follow You wherever You go.

this feeling is growing strong again. i will follow it.

Lord, please calm my fears and ease my pain. she is scaring me, and hurting me. please ease my pain and strengthen (renew) my committment to her, and to You.

thank You, God.

amen.