hääletu palve

Father

please send Spirit to be with me as i swim, sink, and tread water in these oceans of feelings. i am Yours and no one else's, not even my own.

i am yours; save me

this present darkness

LORD

i'm panicking. please help me, please save me, please don't let me be completely destroyed. please make a way to restore me and restore my relationships. i beg Your grace; i beg Your mercy and kindness and longsuffering and healing. i beg You to rescue me from my sins. i beg You to keep me from darkness and danger. i beg You to grant me a life that pleases You.

though i'm terrified, i will be so bold as to ask even for the favor of men (and women). i want good things for them, and i want to be one source of those good things. i want to be not only trustworthy but trusted as well. i want to be faithful and known as faithful. i want Your blessing and i know i can't earn that from You, but i will work to get it and to keep it, if that's what You require of me.

please help me discern with wisdom the right paths through the murky morass of deception and lies and slander and fear and anger and betrayal. please help me to be a good influence. please help me to bring peace rather than war. please help me to heal and not harm. please help me to do the right thing and to say the right things when i need to apologize or confess or both. please help me fight my past; please help me throw off the darkness that clings to me and hinders me and seeks to end my life.

please help LORD. abba, i need You more than ever

amen