giver

God,

You like to give gifts. Every good and perfect gift comes from above, from the Father of Lights, with whom there is no shadow or variation due to change.

You once gave me a very precious gift. I'd say it's one of the three best gifts you give in this life. Then You allowed it to be taken away. Now I have a rock.

And I feel like throwing it.

But if there is a gem hidden inside, please give me the strength to break it open, or else You break it open for me. I am so tired and hurting. I need You, God, because You're the only One with the authority to change this. You have the access codes, the connections, the know-how... everything is Yours, God.

Please grant me a glimpse of Llaura's heart, and let me know if she still has any feeling for me, and if there is any hope for the two of us, romantically. I am tired, God. I cannot do anything unless and until You do.

I will wait for as long as I have to, God, but if my hope is in vain, please tell me.

I believe in Your Love, and I believe You know exactly why You're allowing this to happen. I know You have a reason for it. I know that that reason is the best reason there could be, because You are God, and You understand.

I know that I have little faith, but God, look at my Love, and judge me. By the law of grace and mercy, which was brought by Your Son a little while ago, judge me and see if I have not been faithful to Llaura. Try me, test me, and approve me, because I have Loved her like no other guy has. I have devoted myself to You and to her, and though I've made mistakes, I've repented of them, and striven to always glorify You with our relationship. I have worked so hard, hurt so much, sacrificed for so long... God, You know me! You know all this!

Please reward Your beLoved, Isaiah, and do not turn Him away from You. He asks for a seed, God, and asks that You would make it grow as he tries to water it.

I am Your slave, God, but also Your heir. I ask these things humbly, yet with the utmost passion and confidence that You will not deal falsely with me.

Thank You for listening, Almighty One...

Amen.