trials

Lord,

i'm experiencing victories; i'm more and more vulnerable to You and Your touch as the days go by, as trials come and i am put to the test over and over again. You know i'm grateful.

but i am tired of being attacked. i am tired of these memories, these images, these appetites, these obsessions. i am growing confident in battle, but i am so tired of fighting. i have progress but not peace. i have healing but i'm still in pain. how long will i be suffering this way?

why can my life not be wholly new? why can You not simply wipe clean my heart and mind, and make me innocent and naive again? this thorn is alive; it twists and digs, and i pull it out and toss it away, but it finds me again... and i immediately tear it out, in obedience to you, yet it returns.

please help me...

amen