pointless

God

i feel that this is all a waste of time, that i'm going to fail, and lose everything. i'm terrified. i'm alone. i'm discouraged. i feel that i've been defeated already.

but i can endure all that, i think. for awhile.

i have many needs, many requests... i am so needy... so foolish, so ruined. i've already asked for many things, even in the last few minutes. but in this prayer i'm just asking one this: please touch me. i don't want my idea of God to touch me; i don't want my prayers to change me. i want You to touch me; i want Your grace. if i had to choose between feeling forgiven and being forgiven, i would choose the second without hesitation. i want to to be transformed, by You.

i believe You want this too; but i don't want my belief to save me. i need You to save me. God, please reawaken the desire i once had: the desire, above all else, to please You. i am Yours, only Yours; i belong to Christ. Jesus, please set me free, like that book said You came to do. please let me touch the hem of Your robe. please help me.

amen.