this is pretty much it. the end. no more wasting time, no more putting things off... no more pretending i can make it. this is where i have to start saying things like, "God help me" or "i can't believe how stupid i am," and really mean it.
i don't know what's going to happen to me.
i can really identify with Israel right now, God. this is the part where i've been worshipping idols for years and years, and even though You've sent prophets to get those high places torn down, people haven't listened. even the good kings haven't removed the pagan temples. and now it's time for some wrath.
i realize it's a very natural wrath, God, so maybe i'm more like the people from Galatians. maybe i'm just being abandoned to the consequences of my actions & inactions. but either way, i'm begging for Your help. please please please... do something miraculous. otherwise, i'll be too deep in debt to get out. i need this so badly... i am crushed by the weight of it all. i don't know what i will do if i fail.
please... i know what i deserve, God, and it isn't Your help. but if i deserved it, i wouldn't need to ask. please... please help me. please help me.
1 comment:
this is one of those posts that just make me cringe... I'll be praying for you a lot until I hear from you to do differently, Isaiah.
I Love you, and wish you the best in completing things... I'll pray that you don't get too burdened or bogged down in everything.
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