i have role-models to follow here, where You've directed me. i'm told that even the most mundane acts can be given to You, perhaps even sanctified by the offering of them. well, i'm ashamed of the truth about myself, but i must be honest: prayer is a chore for me. i don't enjoy it, most of the time, and i wish it would at least yield some sort of immediate, observable benefit. but the truth is that it doesn't. i do it because i'm seeking You; i do it because i'm Yours. i do it because my Life allegedly depends on it, and i have no other path to follow with any confidence.
so i pray now, Father, for the whole church. guide its theology and its ministry, especially in this post-Christian context. teach its servants how to teach and preach. show them Your beauty, and inspire them to seek beauty in their own lives as Christians. remind them of how You've revealed Yourself throughout history, and give them fresh insight into who You are. inspire them to work hard for Christlikeness, even as You are freely bestowing that quality on them by grace.
thank You for being the Good Shepherd. that image from Ezekiel makes me want so much to live out Psalm 23, even the part about the valley of the shadow of death.
i pray also for the requests handed along to me, some of which i've forgotten. You remember? for K's friend, who needs boldness and possibly protection. for C and his fiance, that they would challenge and strengthen each other, and that You would be always present, questioning them and affirming them at every step. for H E, with whom i haven't spoken in awhile... speak to her and bless her and encourage her and direct her. for my sister H, especially if the request she made to me a few months ago is still on her heart. for L and her growth, which has been amazing and encouraging for both of us. for S and R, and their relationship, and their children. for E, that she'll be diligent and even inspired as she finishes the tasks set before her. for E and i, that You would make us truly Christian.
my greatest need right now is for diligence and inspiration as well, God. You know my greatest fear; it's staring me down right now, smiling and waiting for the outcome of this situation. help me...
this is a selfish prayer, and You know how i'm scarcely capable of more than this, and though i can't excuse myself, You put up with me anyway. thank You.
amen.
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