Jesus Christ, my Lord, LORD of all, please hear me.

there is nothing i want more, than Your will. i'm not very good at discerning it, perhaps, which is why i'm praying now. that, and we need Your miracles. do You still do that kind of thing??

my past and present and future with Valerie are all at stake. if this matters to You, please help... or if there's something else i should be seeking, then please point it out to me somehow.

i'm waiting on You, and doing what i can in the meantime. if i need to wait, please tell me to wait. if i need to keep hacking away at this monster, then please strengthen and encourage me inwardly. if i should be cutting lines and dumping cargo and bailing, then please give me a sign. help me to think clearly and guide my emotions. help me to do what You want. i'm after Your heart; my will is Yours to shape. my goal and my method are Yours. my whole life belongs to You, God. i am Yours.

i am Yours... save me...

amen.