i'm not adequate. i do not lack resolve, or will... but i'm so discouraged. please help me. will it always be like this? it isn't fair. am i supposed to learn? grow? be faithful? what?

please help me to be humble. i am committed. help me to grow in my committment.

amen

i need You

i'm so done. God help me.

i feel attacked. and i fight so hard to end the fighting. it doesn't even make any sense. i don't care if i win. i care if she understands. i almost always understand her; she often misunderstands me, and when she does so, i can't do anything. i'm being attacked for trying to help!!!

please please please help her to not be like this.

joy

i find these things elusive: love, peace, joy, rest, affection. Lord, please hear me tonight as i try not to complain too much. i know i'm a broken record. please don't get tired of me too quickly...

amen

mirrors

Lord

when the time comes, remind me that i prayed this prayer: make me humble.

i belong to You; i'm pledged to You. i fail most of the time; i'm inadequate for this task of living life well; i'm not a good Lover. please remind me that i prayed this prayer, when the time comes. help me listen carefully for Your whisper.

please make me a good mirror; please work in her heart and eyes, so that she can make good decisions about her own character and personality. please help her make good decisions about our relationship.

amen

i need Your help. i can't just think this through and fix it like that. i need You. please help me...

rest

Father,

please teach me how, and when, and why to rest.

amen

You're sort of like a janitor.

Father

please bless Valerie with clarity of mind and the emotional energy she needs to make this day a good one.

amen

Jesus Christ, my Lord, LORD of all, please hear me.

there is nothing i want more, than Your will. i'm not very good at discerning it, perhaps, which is why i'm praying now. that, and we need Your miracles. do You still do that kind of thing??

my past and present and future with Valerie are all at stake. if this matters to You, please help... or if there's something else i should be seeking, then please point it out to me somehow.

i'm waiting on You, and doing what i can in the meantime. if i need to wait, please tell me to wait. if i need to keep hacking away at this monster, then please strengthen and encourage me inwardly. if i should be cutting lines and dumping cargo and bailing, then please give me a sign. help me to think clearly and guide my emotions. help me to do what You want. i'm after Your heart; my will is Yours to shape. my goal and my method are Yours. my whole life belongs to You, God. i am Yours.

i am Yours... save me...

amen.

faith

i feel sorry for so-called "faith-healers" most of the time, God; sometimes i'm even amused by them. but this is a serious matter, and suddenly i have neither laughter nor pity. i need Your help.

please... if her faith is well-placed, then help me place mine, as well. i know my life is a very small, temporary thing; i know my world is only the tiniest speck compared to Your world; but i also believe that You care about my world, genuinely and deeply.

please answer my prayers somehow... please be with me. please be with us. please be at work in us. please give me what i need to live right; please make me wise in this situation. please guide me in this relationship. please guide my life.

in Christ's merciful name
amen

help

Father,

please reassure me somehow, or strengthen me, or something... let me know that this will end well. please let me know that Your will is being accomplished somehow. please help me.

in Christ's saving name
amen

Mondays

Lord,

be Lord of my heart as well, and teach me to serve and honor You with my heart.

amen